Siddharth 的个人资料Right Here, Right Now照片日志列表更多 ![]() | 帮助 |
Right Here, Right NowNo One's Cool. Everyone's Hot. 7月2日 Summer of 69 - Desi Version (Warning - GROSS!)Sambhar of 69
I had my first real six rupees,
stole it from my father's pants. went to a madrasi hotel, to eat the sambhar of 69. Me and some kadke dost,
had it all and we caught bukhaar,
jimy puked, joey got ulcers, and Bagga ne maari dakar. Oh when I went back there now,
the food was as stale as ever, and though it was 1999, still the sambhar was being served over there, that was the worst food of my life.
Therez no use in complaining,
when you got no other place to eat, rushed in the evening to the doctors clinic, but he too was at the toilet seat, yeah standing there waiting outside,
nurse told me I will wait forever, oh and when I held my breath, I knew that I had to use that loo there That was the worst food of my life. Back to the sambhar of 69. 5月23日 Today's JokeInterviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"
The boy thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this: What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
He was selected for IIM!
"Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the master of presence of mind" 4月8日 What the!?Ramanujam's proof!!.... Can u find any flaws??
Can U Prove 3=2 ?? This seems to be an anomaly or whatever u call in mathematics. It seems, Ramanujam found it but never disclosed it during his life time and that it has been found from his diary . See this illustration: -6 = -6 9-15 = 4-10 adding 25/4 to both sides: 9-15+(25/4) = 4-10+(25/4 ) Changing the order 9+(25/4)-15 = 4+(25/4)-10 (this is just like : a square + b square - two a b = (a-b)square.) Here a = 3, b=5/2 for L.H.S and a =2, b=5/2 for R.H.S. So it can be expressed as follows: (3-5/2)(3-5/2) = (2-5/2)(2-5/2) Taking positive square root on both sides: 3 - 5/2 = 2 - 5/2 3 = 2 ???????? 4月3日 Here I am....Well, its been a long time since i've even touched my space....
Been so busy with work... work timings are really abnormal! Its neither day shift or Night shift! its something like the Twilight Shift!!!
But from now i've decided to keep updating!
So Enjoy!
Hope u all are doin fine!!!!!
Peace
SiD 11月20日 Today's JokeYear 1981
1. Prince Charles got married 2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe 3. Australia lost the Ashes 4. Pope Died Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married 2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe 3. Australia lost the Ashes 4. Pope Died In future, if Prince Charles decides to re-marry .... please warn the Pope!! 11月11日 New mixset.....!!Wow... finally got some time to make a nice long mix... probably my longest recorded Mixset... 110 mins!
Tracklist....
1. Sander Kleinenberg - United In Rhythm. 2. Giampiero Ponte - Nefertari 3. Bongoloverz & Cantero - Salida Del Sol (Main Mix) 4. Da Groovemakers - Surrender Or Die 5. Jesse Garcia - Talkin' 'Bout House 6. DJ Fist - Mapale 7. Simon & Shaker - Join Us (Tribal Base Mix) 8. Thomas Penton - Deeper Vowels (Andre Absolute Mix) 9. Matthew Dekay - Space Mountain Tablet 10. Nu-Frequency - 808 (Why oh Why) [Dub Mix] 11. EG - Hooked 12. Stonebridge feat. Henry Thomas - Gotta Give It Up 13. Phunk Nouveaux feat. Neele Ternes - Whatever (Azzido Da Bass Mix) 14. Phunk Nouveaux feat. Neele Ternes - Whatever (Young Punx Mix) 15. Ian Carey & Mochico feat. Miss Bunty - Say What U Want (Ian Carey Club Mix) 16. Seamus Haji presents Get This! - Ya Underwear (Go Go Crankin' Mix) 17. Tribes world - Let me try (RPO Tekhouse Mix) 18. Thomas Falcon - High Again (Straight Mix) 19. Daft Punk - Digital Love (Boris Dlugosh Remix) U can visit www.aliveandtripping.com a few days later... and it would've been updated.
Peace!
SiD
11月5日 Today's Joke20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:*
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don t use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity....... Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.
It's Called Therapy 10月20日 Today's JokeA LIFE CYCLE
At 4 Years : My daddy is great.
At 6 Years : My daddy knows everybody. At 10 Years : My daddy is good but is short tempered and knows little less than my friend's Daddy. At 12 Years : My daddy was very nice to me when I was young At 14 Years : My daddy is getting fastidious. At 16 Years : My daddy is not in line with the current times. Frankly he does not know anything. At 18 Years : My daddy is becoming increasingly cranky. At 20 Years : Oh! Its becoming difficult to tolerate daddy. Wonder how Mother puts up with him. At 25 Years : Daddy is objecting to everything. Don't know when he will understand the world. I think my At 30 Years : It's becoming difficult to manage my son. I was so scared of my father when I was young. At 40 Years : Daddy brought me up with so much discipline. I wonder how he managed to handle the At 45 Years : I am baffled as to how my daddy brought us up. At 50 Years : My daddy faced so many hardships to bring us up. (We were four brothers and 3 sisters! ). At 55 Years : My daddy was so far sighted and planned so many things for us.Even at this old age, he is
At 60 Years : My daddy was great. Thus, it took 56 years to complete the cycle and come back to the 1st STAGE 10月16日 Today's Joke25 Things U Can Do While Ur in an Elevator
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it
wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones. 4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on. 5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. 8. Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment. 9. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic they open up again."
15. Swat at flies that don't exist.
16. Tell people that you can see their aura.
17. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
18. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there little
buddy?" 19. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,without getting off.
20. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back
away slowly. 21. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
22. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
23. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
24. Wait a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
25. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!" 10月15日 Today's JokeThe problems with some GIRLS:
If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with her;
If u Don't, she says u are PROUD.
If u DRESS Nicely, she says u are trying to LURE her;
If u Don't, she says u are from CHENNAI.
If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET,! she says u have no BRAINS.
If u are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;
If she's Smarter than u, she is GREAT.
If u don't Love her, she tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love her, she will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
If u don't make love with her., she says! u don't Love her;
If u do!! she says u are CHEAP.
If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, she says that u don't TRUST her.
If u SCOLD her, u are like a CHACHA to her;
If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If she BREAKS hers, she is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD BOY;
If she SMOKES, she is a GENTLELADY.
If u do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK;
If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;
If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!! & sooo hard to please!!!!!
If u send this to girls, they will swear that it's not true.......
but if u don't, they say u are selfish.....
The moral of the story is.......
SEND THIS TO GIRLS OUT THERE ANYWAY... 10月14日 Today's JokeRecently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.
The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.
A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands.
*First floor
*The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids."
The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went. *Second floor
*The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?" *Third floor
*This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went." *Fourth floor
*This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on!" So up to the fifth floor they went.
*Fifth floor
*The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs." 10月13日 Today's JokeWHY INDIANS CANNOT BE TERRORISTS?
1. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights. 2. Pretty girls on the plane would distract us.
3. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.
4. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there.
5. We talk with our hands; therefore we would have to put our weapons down.
6. We would ALL want to fly the plane.
7. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.
8. We can't keep a secret, we would have told everyone a week before doing it.
9. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield.
10. We would all have fallen over each other to be in the photograph being taken by one of the hostages!! 10月11日 Today's JokeDear Husband
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone. P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your Ex-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla.
I hope that's not a problem. Signed Rich As Hell and Free! 10月9日 Today's JokeA language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine."House," in French, is feminine--"la maison." "Pencil," in French, is masculine--"le crayon." One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?" The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender, and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.
Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The MEN'S GROUP decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("LA COMPUTER"), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic; 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it. The WOMEN'S GROUP, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("LE COMPUTER"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves; 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. THE WOMEN'S GROUP WON !!!!! 10月8日 Today's JokeI urgently needed a few days holiday, because I never had any leave, I
knew the Boss would not allow me to take a few days leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "Mad" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing ? I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "Mad" and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are mad - take a few days off". I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "...And where are you going?" You're going to love this!
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She said "I can't work in the dark !!!!"
10月7日 Today's JokeThis is on of the most adamant ways of breaking up and awarded as the best Break-up love letter in the competition held in New York Singles Club, Feb 2005.
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:- Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of mine that I sent to you.
Love,
Becky. The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope.... along with this note:-
Dear Becky, I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care,
Ricky. 10月6日 Today's JokeGrass Eater
A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.
"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, please come to my house!"
"But sir, I have a wife and four children..."
"Bring them along!" the rich man said.
They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in."
The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!" 10月5日 Today's JokeA Texas cowboy walks into the dentist's office and after an examination the dentist says, "That tooth has to come out. I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes."
The cowboy grabs the doc's arm and says, "No way. I hate needles. I'm not having any shot!"
So the dentist says, "Okay, we'll have to go with gas."
The cowboy replies, "Absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I'm not having gas."
So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "Here," he says, "Take this pill."
The cowboy asks, "What is it?"
The doc replies, “Viagra."
The cowboy looks surprised and asks, "Will that kill the pain?"
"No," replies the dentist, "but it will give you something to hold on to while I pull the tooth." Bad News :(My work timings are bad... I wake up at 9am and leave for work which starts at 11:15am.... Since its UK Timings, it goes on till 11pm IST.
Bye
SiD 10月2日 Today's Joke
10月1日 Today's JokeWHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why?"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said.
"Did not!"
"Did too!”
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind you that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
AND FINALLY:
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
Quick, send this on to ten people within the next five minutes. Nothing will happen if you don't, but if you do, ten people will be laughing. 9月30日 Today's JokeA pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in awhile. What happened? You look terrible."
What do you mean?"said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannonball, but I'm fine now".
"Ok, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
"We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender, "You couldn't lose an eye just from some bird shit."
Na "It was my first day with the hook." 9月29日 Today's JokeA Civil engineer died and ended up in Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell, he began designing and building improvements. After a while, they had flush toilets, air conditioning, escalators. The engineer was a pretty popular guy.
One day God called to Satan and said with a sneer, "So, how’s it going down there in Hell?" Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God exclaimed, "What? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake - he should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here." "No way," replied Satan. "I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him." God threatened, "Send him back up here now or I’ll sue!"
Satan laughed and answered, "Yeah, right. And where do you think You will find a lawyer?" 9月28日 Today's JokeFRIENDS
Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good,but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship: 1. When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry idiot who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid. 4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining. 6. When you are confused - I will use little words. 7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why?, you may ask Because you are my friend.
Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of two and one of them isn't speaking to you right now anyway. Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. |
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